A Continuation of My Journey

The months after the diagnosis were very difficult. It was almost like I was attempting to relearn how to eat and how much eat at a time. I felt like a baby, especially when people would suggest that I use baby food to get the needed nutrients. I never could bring myself to try it. I would go to activities and spend time with friends, and would bring my water bottle, and that would be my treat because for the most past, I couldn't eat what they were serving. Not only that, but I seriously had no energy to play and have fun.

People would ask me what I could eat, and I couldn't really tell them, because I couldn't eat. I would tell them I was on a milkshake a day diet. Sounds pretty good, right? False. It was nice in the beginning but it got really old. I was only able to take a drink every 15 minutes. If I did too much more than that, it would not stay. As yummy as milkshakes are, they get old after having one everyday, even if you change flavors. 

I went to a dietitian. She did not know much about my condition and was not able to set up much of a diet for me. She had me write down what I ate and how it worked. She also recommended that I eat empty calories, such as fat free candies. She said that she had never told anyone to do that before, but I needed those calories to function. She did give me some suggestions.

I would drink Boost everyday and attempt to make smoothies with Carnation Instant Breakfast. I would always attempt to try to eat something semi-solid for dinner. Somethings worked and some didn't. One thing that worked one day, would not work the next day. 

My original plan was to attend college for the fall semester, but because my health was out of control, that was not an option. I ended up working full-time instead. There were okay days, bad days, and really tough days. Honestly not sure how I made it through. My job changed a bit once the fall semester started, my job changed a bit, which helped, but it was still incredibly difficult to make it through an 8-hour day. 

With time, I began to realize foods that I could and couldn't eat. White bread, peaches, nutritional drinks, tended to work. It was still a little awkward socially but I learned to explain it and then go with the flow. I began to adapt to what I could eat and the amounts, even though I didn't have much self control in some times. This is about the time when I realized that I need to accept the condition and explain it to people to try to help them understand. It changed my attitude and helped people to see me in the a different light.

Before this realization, I would go places and not eat. When I wouldn't eat, I would make excuses like "I'm not hungry" or "I've already eaten" to avoid bringing up the stomach condition. Sometimes I felt like people would look at me and think "Wow, she's too good to eat with us", when in reality I just didn't want to bring up the reason why I wasn't eating. After I began to explain it to people, there was a different light shed. They would understand a little more why I wasn't eating, which was nice. 

That has become something common now. It is so much better to accept what you have, explain it to people so they understand, and then go on with your life doing what is best for you.