When I started this blog, my intent was to inform and encourage others who are dealing with Gastroparesis or any other chronic condition that affects their daily life. It was meant to be uplifting and motivating. I wanted to share my story and experiences in hopes that maybe, possibly, I would be able to help or touch one person with one message. Has that happened? I don't know for sure but I hope so. I do know that it has helped me.
Recently, I have not been posting as much. It has been a while. This post is coming from a very vulnerable place and a tear or two has been shed while writing this. You see, I have been struggling with something for the past while that has taken control of me in such a difficult way. I have sat down to write, and every time that I have tried words won't come (which is strange for me because writing is one of my outlets) or what I was writing felt very hypocritical. How can I help others when I am struggling and don't know how to help myself? This question has plagued.
Now, I do not write this for sympathy. We all have our trials. Though this trial has been debilitating in some ways, there are others who have and are suffering worse. Cancer. Heart Attack. Death. This is being written to show that the issues we deal with can bring us down and can put us in situations we never thought we would be in. However, there are moments of hope or memories sparked that can help us endure.
First, let's look at the word endure. Enduring is more than just suffering. It is suffering with patience. It is lasting through the trial. It is still existing while it is under fire and still standing when it is over. Recently, I had the chance to visit Italy. We saw so many historical buildings and ruins. Each historical place has endured much. They may have lost plaster. They may not be the same as the were originally, but they have endured and become unique and beautiful. I was in awe of how beautiful these sites were and how well they had stood the test of time.
If we look at ourselves and our lives, and look at the trials or storms that are beating us down, we may be suffering.We may be getting hit from every side. There may be parts of us that no longer work. We may need to make repairs. We may be knocked down and not sure how to stand back up. The good news is that it is possible. We can rise up. We may need help. It may take a while. It is possible.
Through my current struggles, I have been reminded of a few things that can help as we set forth to conquer those issues that plague us. Of course, as in all things, these are not guaranteed to work for everyone but they are things that could potentially help.
1) Learn from the Past: Look at what you have learned in the past and from past struggles. See how you can apply it to what you are going through now. Because each situation is so different, this can be difficult. What helped at one time, may not help with the current trial. However, there are ways to adapt to new and different circumstances.
2) Find a Support Group: This group could be different from the support group you established for a different struggle. That is because each trial is different. I love the people I have met through Gastroparesis. We have been able to talk through things and establish connections. Though they may not know it, they have helped me to feel supported as I have faced flare-ups or had rough days. Just by being there and being open, they showed me that I was not alone. We cannot go through these times alone. I take that back. We can go through these times alone, but it is much more difficult and easier to become discouraged. Find a group of people you trust and use them to help you. (Someday you may be able to pay it forward.)
3) Put Yourself First: One of the hardest things for me is not helping others, even when I don't have enough time or energy to help myself. I have learned that by putting me first, I am helping others, because I can more fully give and help, when I am in a good place. This means making sure you are getting adequate rest, distancing yourself from things that cause suffering (as much as is possible), taking care of your needs, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and giving yourself time to work through what ails you.
4) Be Around Children: Last weekend, I spent time with my sister and her family. It was a much needed break. I found when I was playing with the kids, I forgot about my problems and focused on trying to make them smile and helping them to be happy. I also received many hugs and cuddles, which helped me feel valued and special, even when I am facing trials. Today at church I sat behind twin baby girls and their five year-old brother. One of the little girls looked at me for a while. Once I smiled at her, she giggled and continued looking back for the smile. Her sweet spirit and smile were so helpful.
5) Be Humble: This is a difficult step because sometimes we do not want to let people know that we are struggling. We try to hide it from the world that our lives are not perfect. Sometimes it is difficult to find someone we trust who will not judge us but love us unconditionally. We need to accept help and let people help us. It is hard to know how they can help us. Most of the time, we don't even know how to help ourselves. Honestly, being open with someone and letting them help is freeing. Sometimes there is someone who needs help as well. That help can come from helping you. It works.
These are just a few things that I have found helpful as I am going through these trials or rough times. I am no where close to perfect and am still struggling to make it through these hard times. Please share your ways of getting through hard times. Together, we can all help each find ways through this difficulties. No matter what our condition is or what we are enduring, we can find ways to cope and find happiness. We can and will make it through the storms that are hitting us. Like the sites in Italy, we will become strong, unique and beautiful as we endure our trials
