I have been a slacker. Every time that I have gotten on to write a post, something happens and I stop writing. Maybe it is because I try to keep this blog upbeat and motivational and I was personally struggling with so many different issues, that I was having a hard time trying to build up others when I couldn't do the same for myself. I have come to realize that it is okay to have hard times. In fact, it's human. With that being said, here is the post. It may not be all positive. It could be a little religious. It will be the truth though.
Halloween was a fun holiday, as a kid. However, as I have gotten older, it has become one of those holidays that I don't enjoy as much. Don't get me wrong. A few years ago, I was in Salt Lake on Halloween and there were so many cute little kids walking around in their costumes. That was fun to watch. You may be thinking, "What does Halloween have to do with struggles and difficult times?" The answer is one word:
MASKS!!!
Let me explain. On Halloween, when a mask is put on with a costume, it hides one's identity and allows them to take on a different persona. They become a ninja, a superhero, or a witch. Think about it for a minute. What masks do you put on when you don't want people to see who you really are or what you are feeling?
This is something that I have realized that I do, and I know others that do it as well. We (myself and the people I know who do it) don't want to appear weak, vulnerable, or needy. When we get those feelings and have to go out in public, we put on a happy face and prep excuses like being tired or busy in case someone sees through that mask. We don't want to disappoint anyone by being discouraged, angry or sad.
This happens regularly and is what has been happening with me. On top of my stomach, I've been having vocal issues and have been doing therapy to get the voice back. A few weeks ago, we were working on some conversational sentences. We had a breakthrough and it brought up all sorts of feelings and emotions (which I thought was really strange because it was vocal therapy and not therapy for emotions). One of the sentences I was working on was "I am good". I could not bring myself to say it because I knew it was a lie. I had realized that I had been wearing this mask for the past 4 months that told people that I was fine and happy, when I really had all sorts of struggles and inner turmoil. Because I had put on the mask, I hadn't allowed myself to express the emotions that I had and they and built up inside of me.
Removing the masks we wear is not always easy. Here are some steps to take to help with that process. They have helped to remove my masks, be who I really am, and stand up for myself and my needs.
1. Learn to understand and recognize what you feel and want
2. Don't let others thoughts and opinions force you to do something that you don't want to do.
3. Write your feelings down and why you are feeling that way.
4. Find a trusted friend and talk through everything with them. Ask them for help overcoming the feelings and advice, support and friendship.
5. Indulge in something that makes you happy. (a good movie, brownie sundae, a sporting event, etc.)
6. Don't expect everything to get better all at once. Understand that it is a process
7. Celebrate the little victories.
8. Realize that taking care of yourself and what you want comes before what others want from you.
9. Make an earnest effort to truly express yourself, even it is just to talk to yourself when you are alone in your room.
10. Be honest with yourself and others. If you are good say it. If you are okay, then say it. If you are struggling, share that. You can do that is a different way like "I've been better".
I'm sure there are other steps, but these are the things that I have found to help me to be me and remove the masks that I put on. One of the other steps that I took, was taking this to a higher power and asked for help from a loving Heavenly Father to help me recognize my problems/issues and find the best ways to overcome those.
Days may come where wearing a mask may be necessary. When that happens, put the mask on and wear only as long as you have too. The soon you can take it off, the better. Once it is off, find a way to express yourself, through written or spoken word shared with just your self or a trusted friend or family member. It truly helps to get the emotions out of there.
On Halloween, masks are worn to cover the identity of a person and make them in to someone new. Eventually, after all the festivities are over, the masks are taken off and the people return to their own self. We cannot hide who we are forever, but every once in a while, we may need to mask who we are or how we feel. The important thing is to make sure you understand who you are and how you feel, so you can be the best you possible.
