I Lived!

Waking up this morning was difficult. Within five minutes of my alarm going off, I knew that my stomach was not happy. It didn't want me to move.

I moved anyways.

It was not happy with me. At all.

I pushed forward.

I made it through the work day and came home.

I survived.

I knew that I needed to move, but was unable to find the motivation. That is until a good friend texted me to go walking.

I went.

As we talked about trials and struggles, an amazing thing happened.

I was INSPIRED!

Both of us have been through some rough patches and we talked about things that help us get through.

She shared with me this song:

My mind started going.

HOPE:  This word is mentioned nine times (in one form or another) during the song. Whether we feel it or not, there are also people who have hopes for us. These statements are powerful. "I hope you spend your days, but they all add up". "I hope that you don't suffer, but take the pain". What incredible thoughts. Take the pain, but don't become a sufferer. Make the most of every day, every hour, every minute.

GIVE IT ALL:   One of my favorite lines is, "The only way you can know is give it all you have.". How many times do we let how we are feeling or what we are going through stop us from doing something. We will only know if we could have done it or done better, if we act. We cannot let hard times stop us from moving forward or living our own hopes and dreams.

LIVE:   The chorus is powerful, especially with the story of the young man, in the video above. Are we doing all we can? When we are broken, do we continue living, fighting, pressing forward? Are we making the most of our lives?

No matter what the condition is that we are dealing with, we all have the power and ability to make committing statements.

I will move.

I will be happy.

I will have hope.

I will make the most of life.

I will give it all I have.

I will live.

If You're Happy and You Know It.... Fake it!

"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" (Clap, Clap)

Oh, childhood! Those days were simple ones. You played. You ate. You took naps and it was acceptable, even expected (though not to you, because you wanted to play). You laughed at something funny, cried when you were sad, and clapping your hands meant you were happy. If only it were that easy now.

As you get older, you learn that it is not always acceptable to show how you are truly feeling, nor do you want to show those feelings. You go about life laughing and clapping your hands on the outside, when the inside is crying, or stomping it's feet, or scowling. We are now, more than ever, trying to apply the fake-it-until-you-make-it attitude. This is where we act happy and okay with everything, when we really aren't.

This is no different when faced with chronic issues. You grow and progress each day that you deal with the condition. That does not mean you are always thrilled or even remotely happy about what you are going through. You learn how to get through it or hide the pain because you don't want to be seen as weak, or a complainer, or needy. The strangest part of this is that sometimes, it actually works.

Initially, when I first got sick, before my diagnosis, I was not thrilled with how I felt, the way it affected me, and how extremely difficult it was making my life. However, I kept working, pushing forward and doing everything I could to move forward. After my diagnosis, I was pretty consistent about sticking with the diet (though I strayed a few times) and taking the meds. My attitude was not always the best. That needed to change. I began to fake being happy until I actually felt that way. Now, almost 9 years after the diagnosis, I do not follow the diet as strictly and I take more risks. Some days you just have to splurge. However, I do not have as many fake-it days and have been able to find true happiness, even though I am dealing with something very difficult. Don't get me wrong. I still have my days, weeks, or months when I am not in the make-it mode. Sometimes, I don't realize I am struggling with it, until I begin to question why I am feeling and acting the way I am. It is because I automatically started faking it. I don't believe it is a bad thing (to an extent).

Whatever your condition or issue may be, you will most likely have moments when you are not thrilled with the hand you have been dealt or don't understand why you have to go through the struggles.How you deal with it is really your choice, whether you do it honestly or by faking it. Both can be good. Being honest helps you work through the feelings and get over them. Faking it allows you to move forward and move ahead. There are negative ways to get through these times as well, but those really are not recommended. Find the method that works best for you and move forward.

As great as childhood was and as nice as it was to think clapping your hands truly meant you were happy, growing up has taught us that things are not always that way. Whether we fake it or make it, it is all about our attitude and what works best for you. You can show that by clapping your hands, stomping your feet, shouting hooray, hitting a pillow, etc. The possibilities are endless.

Look For The Good

The title says it all, but let's preface this with a story. We all have our own stories in life, and unfortunately, I do not know all of your stories. That means, by sharing a story it will either be made up (which would defeat the purpose of this post) or come from my life.

As many know, health problems have plagued me this year from surgeries to kidney stones, and so many things in between. Going through these difficulties was not my favorite. After resolving these issues, I moved, thinking that life would look up from there because what else could I possibly go through. I was wrong. More trials came and I began to be confused about why all these hard things were happening to me, in my life. Just before Thanksgiving, I was sitting in a class and realized how important it is to be grateful for the hard times. ~ I can see your head turning. Don't worry. I'll explain.~ I was also made aware of the importance of counting your blessings.

It reminded me of a quote:

"Count your blessings and your problems... If your problems outnumber your blessings, count again.... Chances are the things you take for granted were not added up"

Wow! What more can be said. Doing this created awareness, especially when problems seem to overtake life. There is good in every situation. Some situations require more digging and work to find the positive. But the treasure of those far outweighs the good we can easily see, without much effort.

This poem sums up what this post is saying:

Motivation

As you can see, I really haven't been great about updating this blog. Between being busy, being sick (for 3 weeks) and everything else, it became clear that I was really struggling and no desire or energy to move forward. The fact is, I lacked (and still lack) motivation.

I wish there were a magical cure for this. A way to find motivation would be incredible right now. In fact, just the other day, I saw a question, similar to this: If you found a magic lamp with a Genie and were only given one wish, instead of three like Aladdin, what would you wish for? One of my answers was motivation.

As I started feeling better, there was very little energy to get things done and as I started getting energy, there was very little desire to much, for fear of overdoing it and going back to being blah. I have seen a little bit of improvement and have done a few things, but this had made me realize how important being motivated is in dealing with any health condition or situation.

From what is written above, I am not an expert on this subject at all. In fact, I could use some help brainstorming and discussing ideas and ways to get or remain motivated, especially when they are struggling with lack of hope or helplessness or the struggles involved with chronic health condition, in all realms: physical, mental, social, and emotional.

Please comment below or leave a me a message or comment somewhere. I will try to share the compilation of ideas so that we can all get the help we need on this subject. Thank you in advance. :)

Adjustments: It's a Process

Recently, I relocated from a place I loved. I was completely comfortable there. I had amazing friends, a wonderful support group, and knew who I was there. It was small enough place but big enough. It was so perfect for me. Leaving was something that I really did not want to do.

I moved with a little but of a sour attitude. I didn't want to live where I had accepted a job, so I chose to commute and live in a smaller place. However, I did not want to be there. I did want to make the changes that I knew were going to be made and I did not want to leave behind or lose the memories of the place I loved so much.

A few weeks after moving here, reality sunk in. I realized that if I was going to be truly happy and content with life, I have to make the decision to be happy and put forth efforts. I had to try to ingratiate myself into my workplace setting, my home setting and my community. This was difficult for me. It made me anxious. I had no clue what to do, and sometimes still feel like I don't. I wasn't sure how I could ever adapt.

Now, I would be lying if I told you that I am completely comfortable and adapted to life in a new place, my workplace setting and all. However, I am becoming more so. I have learned that this requires adjustments and that it truly is a process. I know what you're thinking, "What does this have to do with Gastroparesis or other chronic conditions?" Allow me to explain.

Shortly after getting sick with GP, I had no clue what was going on, how to cope, or if this would be my life for the rest of forever. I made due, but it was exhausting. After my diagnosis, which happened around 8 months after getting sick, it was time to make adjustments. I had to adjust from living the life of a completely healthy and active young adult to one who had some serious issues that would be there long term. It wasn't easy at all.

I tried to maintain a positive attitude, and maybe on the outside it worked. However, I was not to thrilled about some of the changes. The first little bit after my diagnosis, I was asked not to exercise anymore. I was put on an all liquid diet. I was put on new medicines. I knew that this was not the life I wanted. Yet, these adjustments were necessary so I went and did.

When I did not see things in life going the way I wanted, I re-evaluated things and realized it was time for another adjustment. This one was major. It was time to adjust my attitude. I had to stop looking at myself as a sick, energy-less girl. I had to stop thinking that my life was pathetic and would never be full. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. In turn, I had to start seeing the good in myself, finding positive experience, and discovering that I could make my life as full as possible.

With time, I have adjusted my diet to include soft foods. I am no longer an all-liquids girl. Some days I may choose all liquids, but that is because through my adjustment process, I learned that on rough days, liquids are what work the best and are what will keep me healthy. I have learned, which is what adjusting is all about. Finding out what works for you and making that your new normal. Then you must embrace the new normal you have.

Sounds simple right? Nope! It's not easy. It took so much time and so much effort. There were days of tears. I fell back into old habits of self-pity. However, over time and with so much effort, I have become a more positive person. I don't look at myself as sick or needy, though some days are still that way. I learned that my condition does not define me or how I have to act. I can beat my condition in some ways, though I know that it is a chronic problem.

We don't always want to make changes to our lives or allow our conditions to control life. They don't have to. These adjustments are because we are choosing to make things better. However, this requires us to actually make an effort to see things in this light.

When you are dealing with conditions that are chronic, it is easy to lose hope. It sometimes seems easier to go through the trial of the condition rather than make adjustments to make life better. Adjustments are difficult. Sometimes those adjustments can be painful. I'd imagine, and I've read a little bit to back this up though I have never experienced it myself), that after being adjusted by a Chiropractor, there is a level of pain and discomfort that goes away with time. After that, things usually are better than they were before.

When dealing with chronic conditions, the adjustments are necessary and take time. They are not easy, whether it be a change in eating habits or a change in lifestyle. But after the adjustment has been made and in time, you see the benefits. Earlier this year, after some physical issues, I decided to cut back on one of the foods that I love. It was really hard in the beginning. However, it has become much less of a necessity now, and I feel better about my health. The adjustment wasn't easy, but it was worth it in the end.

Whatever the change may be, I encourage you make it. You can start with a little adjustment here or there. When it becomes difficult, remind yourself of the result you are going for and that life will be better. I am currently going through this process again, with a new issue that has come up and it has not been easy for me to accept the issue or have patience when it seems like the adjustments just aren't working.

For the next month, I am going to make the adjustment that I am working on and stick to it, though it may be difficult. I will report back after a month. I invite you all to do the same. Let's be a support system for each other so we can make it through these difficult challenges that we face.

Good Luck!

Turbo Encouragement

First, sorry I haven't posted in  a while. Life has been a tad bit crazy. Those with chronic medical issues know that they can bring some complications. Thankfully my haven't been terrible. I can tell that my body needs to rest and relax, which is why I took a play day Saturday. Part of that included watching a movie in the park. The movie had some lines that really made me think. What movie?

TURBO!!!!
(Thanks Google Images for the picture).

I understand this is a animated flick, but below are some quotes that  hit me, with an explanation why.

"What if you lose your Super Powers tomorrow?"
"I'll make the most of it today"

We never know when we will have a good or bad day. Who knows if our conditions will ever go away. We just have to make the most of it when there is good health and good days. Neat thought.

No dream is too big, and no dreamer is too small.

Pretty self explanatory. Our dreams to have our health restore, or have many good days in a row. We may feel incapable or inadequate to reach our dreams, but we can make the best of life which means that no dream is too big because we can make the best, the best.

Everbody's got that one thing that makes them happy.

We need to find our happy spot or something that makes us happy no matter what. Last year, mine was The Muppet Movie. In the past it has been things like exercise, donuts, and many other things. That thing that makes you happy will help you get through hard times. 

All of these people, they believe in me.

There are times when we lose hope or we don't believe that we can get through hard times. We can think of the many others who believe in us and know that we can do. They give us the boosts we need when we are dragging or discouraged. Sometimes, we need to rely on others to gain the strength we require.

These are just a few of the thoughts that hit me while watching the movie. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment on these or any other thoughts that encourage. We can all use the extra dose of encouragement, especially on difficult, rough, painful, sickly days.

Out of Order

Dealing with a chronic condition? What I have found is some days that we all feel like this:



Have you had one of these days? Some days the pain is too much to bare. You lack the energy to live life the way it really should be lived. You want the day to be over as soon as it starts. You know the world would be a better place if you just stayed in bed and avoided people.

Let's face it. We all have these days, whether we suffer from a chronic condition or not. My advice is to take an "Out of Order" day. Dedicate that day to relax and renew yourself. Take a break. It will put you back to normal quicker and it will clear your mind. Some of my favorite "Out of Order" activities are reading a good book, watching movies, writing random stories, poems, or blog entries, etc.

Sometimes, an "Out of Order" day doesn't start until later in the day. That is when you treat yourself to something that will make you feel better. Find a way, even if you have to cancel something else, to take time for yourself. It will make a difference. I promise.

By the way, I will be "Out of Order" the rest the night. ;)